Farewell, and an update

I would like to wish my Supporterz a farewell, and give you my an update as well.

I'm working a stable consulting job for an experienced entrepreneur. Consulting is a generic term which means I'm doing whatever needs to be done. The best part is I have a slice of ownership in the venture. So its the best of both worlds - the stability of a 9-5 with weekly paychecks while still giving me lots of flexibility, a chance to build something and share in the profits. Very much a blessing. So I'm getting back on my feet financially, though very slowly.

Trying hard, REALLY hard, to not get distracted too much by "pie in the sky" stuff and my temptation to go back online and in media. Turning down the Dr. Phil show recently was a very tough one! I have to remember that it was the online/media over-exposure that was the "last straw" in my marriage breakup, amongst many other things.

Its obvious that I cared much more about my "fame" and potential sweet deals/opportunities that might come as a result, than the concerns of my wife and our unity. Also there was that hand-written promise I made to her to shut down the blog, get a job and lay low for 2 years or more. I want to keep that promise, even if I never get back with her. It's the right thing to do and will teach me to honor my word.

And yes my wife and I are still separated, unfortunately. I am learning some really really hard lessons about how fragile relationships really are. As I'm sitting here all alone typing this email at 4:48am (all nighter), I'm thinking back to a time when she was right here by my side. Man, how stupid I was to ruin such a great thing! Now I can only work on making things right in my life and pray that God gives me another chance with her.

As you've seen, I sold the blog for 50K - huge thanks to Aaron Krowne of www.ml-implode.com. I finally did the right thing (though reluctantly at first) by paying off all the debt that was in my wife's name as well as most of our private loans. It was really my own debt. She trusted me with her credit to use for the real estate deals. What did I do? I ruined it and broke her trust (not the first time unfortunately).

Paying off that debt took a little over 40k. Plus there were a couple of previous "partners" that I had to pay to make things right -- more painful lessons on promising too many things to people and not keeping those promises. The attorney fees to undo some of those entangling relationships took a big chunk. G kept the Jetta so I also bought a cheap used car for myself for 3K. So that's where that 50 grand went. All gone, but for a good purpose.

Not sure what I'm gonna do about the approx 500K of debt still in my name. That figure includes both credit cards, deficiencies on mortgages and a private loan. Its just an estimate as I won't know until all my bank-owned properties get sold. My desire is still to find a way to pay back "every dirty penny", but I also have to be realistic. I am considering Chapter 13 bankruptcy. It forces lenders into a repayment plan and I can start cracking away at it. But I'm not sure yet if that's the right plan. Too much things are still up in the air. We'll see.

As far as FBI and "mortgage fraud "investigation goes, I don't have any news. Last I heard they still have a file on me and perhaps they're just taking their sweet time. I do have a defense attorney and plenty of proof to show I did not have any criminal intent and had plenty of reliance on professionals.

Of course I made some bad business and ethical decisions with the loans. Then I was naive enough to blog about it in vivid detail and let people blow it out of proportion. It was fueled my idealistic desire to help others by sharing my experience of what "not to do". I sure hope my story helped some people, both those facing foreclosure and especially newbie investors to be more careful.

I am not excusing my behavior and am ready to do whatever I can to "right the wrongs", like attempt to pay off the debt. All I know is I have to continue doing the right thing and let the "chips fall where they may". Living in fear is not going to do me any good.

Man, do I wish I didn't have to go through all this crap but I was blinded by my reckless pursuit of financial success. It was definitely fun and adventurous at the time (like the Australia trip), brought me some great contacts and relationships, etc. In the end it was much more harm than good. Loosing my wife that is.

Having said that... I'm not giving up on my dreams of financial success. God gave me those desires for a reason. Instead I am even more determined to pursue it but in a safer way - even if takes longer. Biggest thing is I must put my loved ones first. For it is because of them, my family and friends, that I want to become financially independent. I'm looking forward to that day when I can share my abundance with them. But in the mean time I have plenty of non-financial abundance I can share - love, caring, quality time, etc.

About 3 weeks ago my 25th birthday came and went. I did not accomplish my goal of 5K/mo passive income - a goal I set 7 years earlier. I'm OK with that. The truly tough part was not being with The One whom I really wanted to share that special moment with. I guess we take for granted the things that truly matter (relationships), until they're taken from us.

Anyway... this is the last the online world will hear from me for a long long time. All in all, the past year has been some of the craziest times of my life. That's for sure. I thank both the haterz and the supporterz. Everybody played a role.

In closing, I will say my favorite line.... "Its all good!" I'm still an optimist but (hopefully) getting wiser through painful lessons and many lonely nights.